7 Truths You Should Tell Your Boys And Girls In Middle School

Middle school can be exciting and terror-inducing. For the youngster, middle school is a whole new experience. There is the challenge of staying organized, managing lockers, dressing down for PE, changing classrooms, and more homework. Yet, there are also new kinds of relationships to be formed and strengthened; youngsters begin to exercise more discretion in their choice of friends and activities. Altogether, it can be difficult for parents to help their child deal with this stage. Yet offering youngsters words that will help them face the reality of the situation they find themselves in will help them pass through this stage successfully.

These are some truths you need to tell your boys and girls who are in middle school:

“You are great and no one should make you feel otherwise”

Let no one tell you who you are and who you are not, whether they are your teachers or bullies. Understand that you have demonstrated strength already by waking up and going to school every day. You have shown you can adapt and that you are willing to learn. There may be challenges now but at the other side of the door, there are so many exciting things that await you.

“Let your sense of success come from within”

Let no one mislead you with gratuitous accolades or flattery. You may be popular because you are great at sports, because you are gorgeous, or because you have lovely grades, but that does not quantify who you are and who you will become. It is easy to become misguided by the noise and distraction of wanting to be noticed in school, but like everything in life, this stage will soon pass.

“Always be aware of your environment”

It is difficult to know who has your interests at heart and who doesn’t. There will be a lot of people who come into your world with all sorts of claims. Listen to their opinion and observe their actions, but be careful whose company you choose and whose advice you listen to. Always be aware of your environment and what you can take from it.

“It takes time to reach your peak”

Even great minds like Einstein and Steve Jobs were not the most popular or most knowledgeable person in school. Becoming who you are meant to be is a gradual process. You may not be the admirable person you think you should be now, but don’t worry or be nervous about it. It takes time for the oak tree to establish its roots. Take your time and enjoy the process.

“Learn to be unique”

Many of your friends love to tailor their lives, appearance, and identity to what seems to be the latest trend. But this method won’t necessarily lead to success. Trying to be what you are not can end in tears. So try and make sure you approach life methodically, rather than mechanically. Learn to be unique and explain who you are to the world around you honestly- but never let the outside world define you.

“Be careful in the way you approach relationships”

Many people you meet in middle school you may never see again. Yet, learn to appreciate your relationships and give as much as you can to sustain them. The truth is that you don’t know how much your actions or words may influence the people around you- for better or worse. A kind thing you say to someone could stay with them always, serving as inspiration when they need to bounce back from dark times.

“Real friendships are not defined by technology”

We have so much sitting in between our friendships these days. There is social media, smartphones, chat apps- and it can be difficult to be able to really measure our friendships. Learn to reflect on your friendships. How much are you willing to give to the friendship and what do you really want from it? This kind of introspection offers value that goes beyond what technology has to offer.

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7 Ways to Think and Stay Young

The old saying goes, “You’re only as young as you feel.” But we live in a tough world. How can we possibly keep a youthful outlook on life when we have bills to pay, mouths to feed, and a roof to keep over our heads? While it’s true that we’ll certainly never be able to relive the carefree days of our childhood, we can live our lives to their fullest potential, and in doing so stay as fresh and invigorated as we were when we were young.

1. Keep good friends around

Keeping good company will keep you socially happy and healthy throughout your life. On the other hand, nothing will drag you down more than socializing with people who hold you back from your full potential. Ironically, surrounding yourself with people who are intent on moving forward in life will keep you energized and make you feel as if you’re always in your prime. It’s when you find yourself surrounded by toxic friends who live in the past that you realize you’re not getting any younger, and you’ll start to feel as if the best days of your life have passed you by.

2. Continue learning

Saying someone is “old-fashioned” is just a nice way of saying their behind the times. If you get into the mindset that you’re “too old” to learn something (like how to use Windows 10 or an iPhone), you’ll certainly feel that you’re past your prime. We live in a world in which education and knowledge is literally at our fingertips, and it’s never been easier to pick up a new skill or hobby. Make it a habit to learn something new every day, and you’ll continue feeling sharp and ready to take on the world. Soon enough, you’ll be showing your children tips and tricks on the iPhone 6!

3. Enjoy the little things

When we were kids, we jumped in puddles, rolled down hills, and ate snowflakes falling from the sky. I’m not saying you, as a grown adult, should do these things habitually (except eating snowflakes; you’re never too old for that). But you should never overlook the small things in life. Celebrate your good hair days. Feel victorious when you hit every green light on the way home from work. Actively look for things to enjoy in your life; no matter how much may be going wrong, there will always be something to smile about if you look hard enough.

4. Exercise

Nothing will make you feel old more than not being able to physically do something you were able to do when you were younger. The saying “it’s like riding a bike” is a misnomer; if you haven’t ridden a bike in years, you might remember how to keep your balance on it, but you probably won’t make it more than a mile or two before you start to feel the burn. Do your best to get to the gym as much as possible, especially as you get older. Your body will continue to get more and more fragile as you age, but you can still stay in as good a shape as you possibly can.

5. Keep laughing

You’re never too old to get a case of the giggles. Just watch any sitcom outtake clips on YouTube for proof of that. What’s the point of living if you’re going to take life too seriously? Just because you have obligations in life that you might not really want to take care of doesn’t mean you can’t have fun along the way. Like I said before, look for the little things in life to enjoy, and don’t suppress the raw emotion that a hysterical situation elicits within you. Never let yourself get to a point that you can’t let go and fall into hysterics every once in a while.

6. Don’t take guilt trips

Everyone makes mistakes. Constantly harping on yourself for missteps you’ve made in the past will drag you down and keep you from attaining your full potential. And when this happens, you lose precious moments of your life that you’ll never get back. Of course, this leads to a vicious cycle in which you continue to look back on your past in a negative way, and in turn become depressed about your future. You should definitely learn from your past mistakes, but don’t let these mistakes ruin your future as well.

7. Remember when you were young, and pass it on

When my father and grandfather tell stories of their youth, I see a twinkle in their eye showing they remember these days that happened forty to sixty years ago as if they were yesterday. It’s not so much that they’re pining for their youth, but that they’ve carried these cherished memories with them for so long and are able to bring them back to life by relaying them to me and my sister. You don’t want to tell these “back in my day” stories as if you’re disgruntled at how things have changed, but instead you want to pass on the fun activities you did as a child so a new generation can experience them as well. When you see your kids and grandchildren enjoying a pastime you remember enjoying back in your youth, you’ll instantly be transported back to the time in your life when stickball and fishing was all you had to worry about.

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10 Great Hacks To Make You Sleep Better

Sleep is important to your success. This is why it becomes amusing to know that many are not getting as much sleep as they need. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in the U.S., 40 million people suffer from chronic long term sleep disorders annually. It seems people are struggling to find sleep. To address such an issue here are some hacks that can prove useful.

1. Improve your breathing

What is popularly known as the “The 4-7-8 Breathing Exercise,” has been proven to promote better sleep. What this breathing exercise does for you is to regulate your breath.

According to Dr. Andrew Weil on his website, “Breathing strongly influences physiology and thought processes, including moods. By simply focusing your attention on your breathing and without doing anything to change it, you can move in the direction of relaxation.”

What this sleep hack does is silence your mind and eases it from distracting thoughts.

2. Take a warm bath before sleeping

A bath helps to cool your body temperature and embrace sleep. Once you come out from a bath a message is sent to your brain that you are ready for sleep. Although scientists cannot explain this phenomenon it appears, that having such a bath mimics our body temperature.

3. Keep your feet outside your blanket

You can sleep faster if you keep one or both feet outside of your blanket. Since our biological rhythms and temperatures fluctuate throughout the day, this hack seems ideal because when your body temperature starts to drop before you fall asleep, a cooler temperature will also help it induce sleepiness. The feeling you get from having your feet outside your blanket and embracing cooler temperature is similar to having a warm bath before you go to bed.

4. Avoid bright light before sleeping

Blue light from TVs, smartphones and computers can suppress the production of melatonin in the body. What may be stopping you from getting that sleep you need may be the screens you are staring at. You could try and dim the lights from your screens or wear amber tinted glasses to reduce the effects of such light.

5. Eat a decent meal of small, carb-filled supper before bed

Eating a small portion of food that is rich in carbohydrates can induce a good night sleep according to research. So try some bowl of cereal or a slice of toast before you go to bed.

6. Improve the darkness in your room

Light ticks the brain that it is time to be active and get things done. However the opposite becomes the case when light is reduced in the room. Your bedroom should not have any lights on whether from a TV or any electronic device if you want to get some sleep.

7. Improve the smell in your room

According to an article by Wall Street Journal sprinkling lavender oil on bedclothes could lull you to sleep. According to researchers at the University of Miami School of Medicine, the aroma in lavender has been shown “to slow down heart rate, slow blood pressure and put you in a parasympathetic state, which is a relaxed state.”

8. Have a list

Listing your problems and penning down possible solutions for them could help you get  the problem out of your head and focus on sleep. According to a study, this action makes you more relaxed for bed.

9. Use the 90 minute rule

Our brains completes several 90 minute cycles through different stages. So if you want to know the ideal time for sleeping take several counts of 90 minutes backwards to the ideal and appropriate time to sleep. For example waking up at 7 am should mean that you sleep around 10pm or 11:30 pm.

10. Avoid smoking before bedtime

Many smokers believe smoking keeps them relaxed. However since nicotine is a stimulant this may not be the best method to get sleep. Just like coffee you should expect to wake up several times throughout the night.

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10 Crazy Paradoxes That Will Blow Your Mind

A paradox is a premise that contradicts itself. It’s a situation that seems to defy logic by producing an inconsistency that goes against common sense. Most logical paradoxes are known to be invalid arguments. However, they are still valuable for promoting critical thinking and sometimes proving a point by contradiction. Teasing your mind and question everything you think you know makes for great intellectual activity. Indeed, the closer you examine things, the more you’ll start to discover paradoxes all around you.

Here are some of the most fascinating paradoxes you should know about. These will boggle your mind every time you read or think about them. Enjoy!

1. Likely to exist means likely to be found, but where is everybody?

A mind-blowing paradox comes from the apparent contradiction that exists between the high probability of extraterrestrial civilizations being out there somewhere, and our lack of alien contact or evidence.

In a universe of infinite space, the odds of life existing on a planet other than Earth are pretty high. However, no confirmed signs of intelligence have been spotted outside Earth, either in our galaxy or in the more than 80 billion other galaxies of the observable universe.

Hence physicists Enrico Fermi’s famous question: “Where is everybody?”

2. Does an object that has all its components replaced remain the same object?

This is a classic paradox drawn from the ancient Greeks’ original Ship of Theseus Paradox. It was famously described by Plutarch to get at the contradictions of identity. It goes like this:

You have an old wooden ship. You remove a plank from the ship one at a time and replace it with a new plank. You do this with every piece until the old ship is completely replaced. Is it still the same ship? If you construct a new ship out of the old pieces you took off the first ship, which one is the original ship?

A newer version of this paradox that drives the contradictions of identity closer to home replaces the “ship” with the “brain”. If you somehow quickly replaced parts of your brain material with identical clones and made a separate brain with the old brain material, would that be you too? Would you still be you?

3. Time travel (if possible) would result in some extremely strange situations.

Consider the following version of the popular science fiction themed Bootstrap Paradox, involving time travel and bringing an object or information back in time:

A stranger appears out of nowhere and hands you a strange device. The stranger then runs away and you never see them again. You discover the device handed to you is a time machine. After holding it for a while, you get bored. Instead of getting rid of it, you figure: “Hey, why not give it to myself?” So you go back in time and give yourself the device hence starting the whole cycle again.

Where did the device come from?

4. Can you travel back in time and prevent yourself from being born?

Another famous example of a time travel paradox is the Grandfather Paradox. In this mind blowing scenario, someone travels back in time and kills their own grandfather to prevent their own birth.

Think about this: A girl goes back in time and kills her grandfather before he has a chance to meet her grandmother and sire her father. Since her grandfather is dead, the girl was never born.

If she were never born, how could she kill her grandfather?

5. Can an omnipotent being defy the laws of logic and be both omnipotent and not omnipotent?

This version of the Omnipotent Being Paradox arises from the simple but strange exclamation: “Let God Almighty create a stone, which he himself is not capable of lifting!”

Can God be omnipotent and not at the same time? How does free will even exist if God is omniscient?

These are just some of the many paradoxes that arise when you try to apply logic to definitions of God or an almighty being.

6. If destiny designed a master plan which defines everything that is to happen, isn’t it useless to go to a doctor, for example?

According to this Lazy-bones Paradox, if you are ill and it is your destiny to regain health, then you will regain your health whether you visit a doctor or not.

If it is your destiny not to regain health, then seeing a doctor can’t help you. This is a paradox that might arise if you reject the notion of an omnipotent God or a supreme being who’s in charge.

How would you question this premise or supposition?

7. A heterological word is a word that does not describe itself. Does “heterological” describe itself?

For example, “verb” is a heterological word since it is not a verb (as opposed to “noun,” which is itself a noun). Similarly, “long” is a heterological word since it is not a long word (as opposed to “short,” which is actually a short word). So then, is “heterological” a heterological word?

This is one of many self-referential paradoxes that have kept mathematicians and logicians up at night.

If “heterological” were a word that didn’t describe itself, then it would describe itself. However, if it did describe itself, then it would not be a word that described itself.

8. If someone says “I always lie,” are they telling the truth? Or are they lying?

The great stoical logician Chrysippos came up with a paradox popularly known as the Liar Paradox. It tells of a Cretan who sails to Greece. Upon arriving, he is greeted by Greek men on the shore and says, “All Cretans are liars.” Did he speak the truth, or did he lie? A week later, the Cretan sails to Greece again and says, “All Cretans are liars and all I say is the truth.”

The Greeks were truly puzzled. None were more confused than the grammarian and critic Philetus of Cos, who is said to have died of exhaustion while attempting to resolve the paradox.

Maybe we should just let this one go unsolved then? No?

9. A barber shaves everyone who does not shave himself, but no one else. Who shaves the barber?

This paradox is similar to the Liar Paradox. It was formulated by English logician, mathematician, and philosopher Bertrand Russell to emphasize the importance of establishing careful rules when creating sets. His Set Theoretic Paradox would lay the groundwork for 20th-century mathematics.

It goes like this: There is only one barber in town. The barber (who is a man) shaves only those men who do not shave themselves, but no one else.

Who shaves the barber? Does he shave himself?

10. What happens when an unstoppable object faces an immovable object?

An ancient story is told of a man who was walking through a market when he came across a merchant. The merchant advertised two of his wares boldly: “This spear can pierce any shield!” and “This shield can block any spear!”

The man contemplates these opposing statements for a moment. He then walks up to the merchant and asks, “What happens when you pierce the shield with the spear?” The merchant had no answer to this question.

A more recent account of an unstoppable object facing an immovable object involves a bullet and armor. Imagine there is a bullet which can shoot through any barrier. There is also some absolutely bullet-proof armor which no object can penetrate.

What will happen if such a bullet hits such an armor?

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10 Things Only Saxophone Players Would Understand

This article is dedicated to my fellow musicians who play saxophone, and more specifically to those who view it as their life. The reasons why we started playing saxophone are endless, ranging from because we loved the sound that it created, to just because we admired how shiny it was. Whether you started playing saxophone 50 years ago or yesterday, you are a part of this exclusive group.

Here are ten common things that saxophone players can relate to:

1. You Have Attempted To Play ‘Careless Whisper’

This song is most commonly recognized more by its tune than its title. Every single one of us has either tried to play it or has listened to the song and thought to ourselves that that is what we sound like when we play. We are used to people asking us to play it for them. We are also used to people asking us if we have watched the Sexy Sax Man play ‘Careless Whisper’ as a prank on YouTube. The answer is: yes, and I never want to watch that video again.

2. You Have a Hard Time Standing Still While Playing

When I play saxophone for performances, I never sit. Standing is more professional-looking, but it also gives me the freedom to really get into my music. Saxophone players never stand still while playing. We move from side to side, and sometimes bend forward if it’s a really high note or we want to emphasize a note. We are entranced by the music we play, and our passion for those moments shine through when we perform.

3. You Have Nightmares About Playing Six Flats

Saxophone players don’t play flats very often. I mean, we mostly never play flats unless we are playing in F major or B flat major keys. We are most comfortable playing sharps. Since we don’t have much experience playing in those wasteland keys, when we look at a key signature and spot more than two flats, we get a most uneasy feeling in our gut. But since we usually don’t play flats, most commonly that scenario only occurs during a nightmare.

4. You Need Space

When I played the baritone sax, I had a story to tell for every dent I had punctured in that thing. Although I tell the stories in a humorous light, every time I have bumped my saxophone on something I have died a little inside. For those of you who play the smaller saxophones (soprano and alto), you understand that when I say you need space, I mean that you need space so that nothing ever touches a key on your precious saxophone. But for those of you who play the beast saxophones (tenor and specifically baritone) you understand that as meaning, “If I don’t have space, I can’t move.” Fellow band members who don’t take you seriously when you say this, will probably take you seriously after you have died a little inside.

5. You Have a Large Lung Capacity

Depending on how high of a number your reed is, the air that you blow into your saxophone varies. Even if you are still on a Rico two and a half, you are still going to have to give it a generous amount of your carbon dioxide. To make it through a song, musicians learn how to breathe from their diaphragm. Although that helps, the song ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ is going to be the death of me (the saxophone holds tied whole notes for the majority of the song)!

6. Your Cork Grease Gets Mistaken for Chap Stick

Does this scenario sound familiar? You say, “Mom, I need chap stick.” Mom says, “I just saw some in your room.” You reply saying, “Uh, that’s cork grease.” Or how about when you reach your hand back behind you for your chap stick during band practice, and accidentally grab the cork grease and carelessly rub it all over your lips. It’s OK; they look a lot alike.

7. Your Reed Defines Your Day

Having a reed crack ruins your day. Reeds are expensive, plus it takes time to break another one in. The taste of a new reed is not appealing either. To be honest, reeds are the main reason I have trust issues. When a reed squeaks, that means it basically just gave me permission to hate it. Also, saying, “No, I don’t have any reeds left,” to a reed-less saxophone player is the biggest lie ever.

8. Your Relationship Status With Your Neck Strap Is Complicated

Your neck strap doesn’t always have your back. We all have been punched in the chin while adjusting our neck strap. Plus your next strap really does leave a mark on you. After playing, we all feel self-conscious about how red our neck looks- not to mention that neck strap tan line from marching band practice. But at the end of the day, your neck strap sometimes manages to stay with you. Like when you put your saxophone away and realize that you never took the neck strap off. If you don’t admit to doing that, you are lying.

9. You Are Louder Than Everyone Else

Your band director is always reminding you to play quieter so everyone can hear the clarinets. That doesn’t make any sense to us, because we always claim that we have the melody. Since high numbered reeds take more air, it is really difficult to balance your air input and volume. Maybe the reason why saxophones cannot participate in orchestras is because playing soft is not our forte.

10. Your Own Spit Drips on You

Walking out of the bathroom with toilet paper attached to your shoe may actually not be as embarrassing as walking around school with a wet spot on your pants. Although usually the spit drains out of the bell of the saxophone (spit valve for baritone sax), unfortunately it sometimes manages to leak through the lower key buttons. This phenomenon happens unexpectedly, and cannot be prevented.

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7 Things You Should Keep In Mind to Bring Sunshine to Your Life Every Day

When you wake up, what kind of mood are you in? How strong are you on the inside?

Take a deep breath and awake to the beautiful promises the world has in store for you. You need not despair or be afraid. Every moment, every hour, is meant to be cherished and to be fulfilling. Here are 7 things to keep in mind to bring sunshine to your life every day:

There is an opportunity to start all over again

“The only joy in the world is to begin.” – Cesare Pavese

Life is more of a marathon than a sprint. You have the opportunity to start your race again every morning. This fresh start that is presented to you allows you to have the chance to get everything beautiful that you desire in life.

You have a responsibility to define your journey

“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” – Winnie the Pooh

It is not about what others think of you, but what you think of yourself. Your body and mind belongs to you. Embrace your being and appreciate what is yours. Rather than live another person’s life, live yours. This is the responsibility you have to yourself.

Your relationships should be defined by you

“Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.” ― Mandy Hale

You are an average of your closest relationships. Learn to choose and identify relationships that are suitable for the identity that you want to have. Such relationships will help to propel you towards your desired success, rather than take you away from it.

Your happiness is about what is within- not what you’re without

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” – Dale Carnegie

People chase dreams, money, and love. Rather than seek what joy already exists in their soul, they seek fulfillment and satisfaction from what is afar. Learn to be content and happy with everything you have, and watch your self-esteem and courage soar. Happiness is a state of mind- not what can be found in obtaining any particular possession.

How much belief you have in yourself is what determines your vision

“You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.”― Stephen Richards

What makes the eagle an incredible predator is its vision. But at the core of an eagle’s life is its ability to fly and soar. Learn to fly above the odds and the challenges that life will deal you. Do not be afraid. Believe in yourself. Sure, you will make mistakes. But mistakes will only ultimately strengthen your conviction that you are headed in the right direction.

Never lose touch with the present

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” – Epictetus

Many people get consumed by what will happen tomorrow. They wonder what it will be like in days or years to come. The truth is that each moment is the only ‘now’ we have; we can either appreciate it- when it occurs- or throw it away. What is in the present is yours to control. It is yours to appreciate, enjoy, and fall in love with.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” ― Abraham Lincoln

There are a lot of things that are out of our control. Getting worked up over the small things will never really make much of a difference. So next time you find yourself enraged by that lady who caught you off on the highway, let her be. There is no point in getting worked up or stressed out over things that are ultimately insignificant.

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Things That Only Parents Of Threenagers Can Relate To

You might think you are out of the clear after year two, but beware that you may be entering a similar phase that is like the terrible twos, only heightened. The new term “threenagers” is a way of accurately labeling a toddler that is going through their third year with the attitude of a teen. And you thought you had at least a decade until you had to deal with a teenager…. Here are some signs that you are dealing with your very own threenager:

1. You hear a resounding “no” anytime you ask them to do something

From a request to wash their hands for dinner to cleaning up their toys, the N-O word seems to be on repeat at all times in your house. The only time that you hear a yes is when it has to do with the TV or chocolate. Go figure.

2. You have come to realize it is their way or the highway

When your child finally gets around to the chore that you requested them do, they will only do it their way. Forget any suggestions on how important it is to carefully pour their cereal, since they will not listen and, as predicted, it ends up mostly on the floor.

3. You have to help them with multiple daily wardrobe changes

Suddenly your tot seems to have strong opinions about what they want to wear and it changes hourly. Getting out the door in the morning is a constant struggle, because just when you think they found an outfit they like, they will change their mind again.

4. You have a few main dishes on rotation

For breakfast it is always Cheerios, for lunch it is either PB&J or turkey (both without the crusts), and for dinner only chicken nuggets or spaghetti is acceptable for your toddler’s palette. You tried once to suggest lasagna, but that did not go over very well at all.

5. You realize naptime is non-existent

You long for the days that your toddler used to fall asleep, as if on cue, at the same time every day. You wonder if it was all just a dream as you watch your child have their daily meltdowns that now replace their rest time.

6. You are constantly being talked out of time-outs

You never realized how convincing your tot can be until they began to talk themselves out of spending some quiet time in their room. It is hard to constantly say no to their sweet faces, especially when they say “you are the best parent in the whole world.”

7. You have to let them do everything themselves

The new-found independence of a toddler can be downright exhausting, but sometimes you just have to let it go and let them do it for themselves without assisting them first.

8. You have developed a effective game plan for dealing with meltdowns anywhere

Shopping markets, friend’s houses, and the kitchen floor are all places that you have learned to fine tune your reaction to temper tantrums. You have also developed a tolerance for high-pitched screaming, though it is clear in public that everyone around you has not.

9. You have gotten in shape from chasing them around all day

There are have been times when you feel that you have not stopped being in motion since you woke up in the morning. Your toddler seems to have endless energy and shows no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

10. You have pulled out bribes more than usual

You know bribing your child with chocolate or an extra hour of TV time is not ideal, but sometimes when you are at your wit’s end, you do what you need to do.

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6 Reasons Why Rebellious Kids Turn Out To Be More Successful

Does your child get sent home with a note from the teachers because of disobedience, defiance or maybe talking back to almost everyone? Here’s a silver lining for parents of rule-breaking children: such surly kids with a classical defiance to authority could end up being very successful in life.

A new study published in Development Psychology suggests that your naughty child will probably grow up to have more occupational success and earn more than his/her well-behaving peers. The researchers measured occupational success by using an index that ranks careers based on prestige and socioeconomic status.

The notion that well-behaved kids don’t always finish first over the long run is not unheard of. Previous studies have found the character trait of “agreeableness” is negatively correlated with income and earnings. Perhaps on cue, these findings echo the popular Americanism attributed to legendary baseball manager Leo Durocher: “Nice guys finish last.”

Rebellious children tend to have higher incomes as grownups

Researchers with the University of Luxembourg, the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and the Free University of Berlin tracked data on 745 people in Luxembourg from the time they were about 12 years old in 1968 until 2008, when their average age was about 52. They discovered that those who defied authority as children tended to have higher incomes as grownups.

In other words, after accounting for the impact of IQ-level and class background, the researchers found that “rule-breaking and defiance of parental authority” was the best predictor of which students ended up making higher incomes. The writers called this a “surprising finding” and admitted there were reasons to be cautious about it. But they did float theories on why this might be the case—theories that align with what other experts have said on the matter.

Keep in mind that many of what we see as disobedience or illicit activities in children is actually just natural, curious, exploring, learning behavior. Ross Levine, co-author of another paper for the National Bureau of Economic Research that identifies a number of characteristics in youths that tend to be associated with entrepreneurial success later on in life, says: “Those people who become the most successful entrepreneurs tend to have the unique combination of cognitive and non-cognitive traits.”

Here’re six reasons given by researchers why rebellious children often turn out to be more successful.

1. They are more willing to be more demanding during critical junctures

“We might assume that students who scored high on this [rebellious] scale might earn a higher income because they are more willing to be more demanding during critical junctures, such as when negotiating salaries or raises,” explained the Researchers with the University of Luxembourg, the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and the Free University of Berlin. This means that a rebellious child can grow up to be more heard in the workplace, especially when decisions need to be made quickly and efficiently.

2. They have higher levels of willingness to stand up for their own interests

Another reason rebellious kids succeed as grownups might be that childhood troublemakers “also have higher levels of willingness to stand up for their own interests and aims, a characteristic that leads to more favorable individual outcomes—in our case, income,” said the researchers with the three universities. Making yourself heard in the workplace definitely leads to a higher salary.

3. They tend to push boundaries and reach for more and/or better

Alison Roy, lead child and adolescent psychotherapist at East Sussex Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) in the UK suggests that these “rebel” kids not only stand up for their interests, but also push the boundaries and engaged in “risky” activity. “Children who have been responded to, led to believe – in a healthy way – that their voice is valued, that all they have to do is object and action will be taken – they will push boundaries. And this is really healthy behavior,” she is quoted saying. Rebellious children question the status quo, which can lead to serious progress!

4. They tend to stay in school longer and are more likely to pursue higher education

It turns out that kids who defy their parents stay in school longer and are more likely to pursue higher education, according to the study in Development Psychology. This can be taken to mean that the kids are better qualified and thus better placed for higher pay and occupational success. Even those kids who drop out of college don’t necessarily fail. The paper for the National Bureau of Economic says 54 percent of these college dropouts tend to have entrepreneurial success without college degrees. Just ask Mark Zuckerberg and Larry Page who dropped out of college to start Facebook and Google respectively.

5. They tend to be more likeable, even after meeting them for just a short time

Other studies have found that people who are more likely to break the rules are more likeable, even after meeting them for just a short time. Likeability can lead to success because even secondary connections that are memorable lead to friendships, professional relationships, and more. In addition, likeability is not usually associated with more extreme anti-social behavior, such as violence or intimidation. Interestingly, studies estimate that between 40 and 60 percent of the population carry the “rebel” gene linked to rebellious behavior.

6. They may be more successful for unethical reasons

Researchers in the study published in Development Psychology point out a more concerning reason that children who exhibit rebellious behavior can grow up to be more successful. “We also cannot rule out that individuals who are likely or willing to break rules get higher pay for unethical reasons,” the researchers wrote in the recently published paper.

In view of these findings, it is important to ask ourselves two important questions: firstly, is an obedient child cause for concern or celebration? Secondly, and this is important, is an obedient adult cause for concern or celebration? Obviously an obedient adult is not quite so attractive.

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10 Reasons Designers Are Always Likable

Have you realized there are certain professionals that we get on better with? For instance, people involved in artistic and creative careers tend to inspire us more friendly and inspirational thoughts than people in other occupations.

Good designers have a set of skills, further than their technical abilities, which make them be more likable by other people. As part of their profession they need to connect with very diverse types of people in many different levels and this makes them develop evident capabilities and aptitudes that turns them into individuals always likable by others. There are at least 10 reasons why designers are always likable.

1. They are empathetic

Good designers empathize with the users of their designs. They need to understand the needs and wants of those who will interact with their design to offer exactly what they want. The continuous user research done by designers helps them to appreciate their users behavior and to connect with them in a deeper level.

2. They are comprehensive

At the same time their job requires that sixth sense to be able to comprehend straight away what their employee or client are expecting from them. Only designers with these two different types of connection will have a sympathetic relationship with users and work mates.

3. They are business-savvy

It cannot be forgotten that design is a business in itself. Although it is a creative and enjoyable discipline, design has to be understood as part of a business and as such it always needs to have clear business objectives.

As part of it, designers need to understand the business they are in and the role they play in the business model. A designers personal preferences and opinions always come after the business goals. Designers’ ability to demonstrate this hierarchy is another reason to make them more likable by others.

4. They are good listeners

To be able to understand what their clients expect from them and what their design users want, designers need to pay attention and listen. After that, they process the information and opinions received and put them into practice.

5. They are meticulous

All designers need to be extremely accurate and have a great eye for detail as they deal with miniature details every day. They also need to be consistent with the colors they use, typography, layouts, editorial styles etc. All these characteristics are part of being meticulous and careful with everything they do and others generally appreciate people with these qualities.

6. They are perfectionists

Good designers never leave the job half done. They are very keen on finishing what they have started and they also know how to react to their employers’ feedback in order to improve their design according to the business objectives.

7. They are patient

Designers are constantly working with deadlines and pressure from different perspectives. That is why to perform well and bring good results to live they need to be patient. Designers receive feedback permanently and they need to deal with criticism in a positive way as well as react quick enough to make the changes within the time limit given.

8. They have perspective

Designers find the right problems to solve and their solution everyday. To do this they need to have perspective to think outside the design. This is specially difficult and important when working on the same project for a long period of time.

9. They are talented in the visual arts

If you want to start your career in the graphic design industry, you need to be talented in the visual arts. Designers have the capability to visualize ideas, concepts and information. Although this skill can be learned over the years, designer that have innate abilities in visual arts are generally better designers.

10. They are easy to adapt

As designers work with technology, their role is always evolving. They need to be able to quickly adapt to the changes and learn the new software, techniques and tools in the areas of work. Thanks to this, they are always up-to-dated.

Featured photo credit: Michael Carian via flickr.com

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Advice From Stephen King On How To Become A Great Writer

Do you wish you were a brilliant writer? Stephen King has written over 50 books and has millions of fans. As one of the most popular horror writers alive, he knows how to write an interesting and captivating book, and he has just published a book called “On Writing” that provides valuable insights on how to improve your writing.

Check out 15 pieces of advice from Stephen King’s book on how to be a better writer here.

1. Don’t Worry Too Much About Grammar

“Language does not always have to wear a tie and lace-up shoes,” advises King. If you are telling a story, the most important part is to tell the story well so don’t worry too much about focusing on grammar. When someone is reading a great story, they often forget they are even reading at all.

2. Utilize The Power Of Description

“Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s,” writes King.  Make sure your descriptions are clear and concise, and don’t get too lost in your own writing. Keep the story going and use simple vocabulary so as not to confuse the reader.

3. Don’t Be Pretentious

“One of the really bad things you can do to your writing is to dress up the vocabulary, looking for long words because you’re maybe a little bit ashamed of your short ones,” says King. Speak clearly and try to avoid using jargon.

4. Prepare And Plan For Criticism

“If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that’s all,” writes King. Continue to write even when you don’t feel like it, and remain optimistic whenever you encounter failure.

5. Don’t Focus On Trying To Please Others

“If you intend to write as truthfully as you can, your days as a member of polite society are numbered anyway,” King writes. King himself has received many angry letters from people who dislike his work. Not every person who reads your book will love it – and that’s fine.

6. Enjoy Your Writing

On writing, King says, “I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for joy, you can do it forever.” Your work shouldn’t get you down; it should inspire and excite you – it should be one of your passions.

7. Write Without Distractions

King advises you to write without distractions; “Write with the door closed; rewrite with the door open.” Shut the door and turn off your phone so you can fully connect with your writing.

8. Write About Everything, Including The Bad Stuff

“The most important things are the hardest things to say,” says King. “They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings.” If your writing is going to be well-rounded and full, you will eventually have to cover a negative or difficult subject. Don’t fear these subjects – throw yourself right in!

9. Don’t Steal Someone Else’s Voice

King believes that “you can’t aim a book like a cruise missile.” Instead of creating pale imitations of other people’s work, explore all the corners of your own mind and experiences to create something unique and original.

10. Take Your Work Seriously

“You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or despair,” says King. “Come to it any way but lightly.” If you do not believe in your work or you treat it lightly, you may need to put the pen down for a while and come back to writing in the future.

11. Take Risks

“I’m convinced that fear is at the root of most bad writing,” King says. The best writers have their own styles and regularly break the rules of conventional writing. Don’t fear your mind; embrace it and see what you create!

12. Write Every Day

“Once I start work on a project, I don’t stop, and I don’t slow down unless I absolutely have to,” says King. Writing shouldn’t be a job you hate, and writing every day stops the story going stale in your mind.

13. Finish Your First Draft In Three Months

“The first draft of a book — even a long one — should take no more than three months, the length of a season,” he says. Writing every day will help you to achieve this, and it helps you to stay committed to this big project.

14. Don’t Fear Cutting Your Work

Many writers struggle to cut parts of their writing that they particularly enjoyed, but King advises, “Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.” It may be tough, but is important to cut out the dull parts to keep the story flowing. Try to remember that your first draft is almost never the same as the final draft.

15. Take A Break From Your Work Before You Come Back To It

When you’re finished writing, take a break for a few weeks before you read your writing. King suggests 6 weeks, which means you will have a clear, unbiased head when you finally read your writing.

What did you think of this list? Share it with your friends who love to write and see what they think!

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How To Increase Your Reading Speed Without Losing Comprehension

Have you ever been in a group watching a PowerPoint presentation and felt like the presenter was switching slides too quickly- or that maybe everyone around you was reading at a much faster speed than you? While you may have felt left out, be rest assured that you probably had more company than you thought.

While your reading speed will vary with the content of the material presented, according to Staples, the average person reads 300 words a minute. Many factors will influence your reading speed outcome such as mood, lighting, and overall environment. If you are curious to know your reading speed, take the eReader test from Staples here.

As you may recall, growing up we were subject to many myths about reading. Some of the more popular myths included:

Reading every letter makes you a better reader

The human brain is wired to process words, first and foremost, for understanding rather than for grammatical accuracy. This means that when reading, our brain’s first goal is to understand the meaning of the word and the context of a sentence. For further proof, try reading the following text:

Slow reading brings more enjoyment

While this myth may easily be defied by most school-aged children, it is important to note that slowing your pace will not alter the content of your reading material. However, speed reading material that is of high interest to you will enable your brain to vividly picture the scenes from the text and thus create a much more rewarding experience for the reader.

Here are some easy ways to help you save time when reading, while maintaining your comprehension:

1. Selectively skim the text

This PsycNet study by H.Y. McClusky shows that contrary to the belief that every word must be read to understand a text, preliminary skimming can help save time when reading. However, you must do so appropriately in order to understand the message conveyed in the text. For example, it is highly recommended to always read the introduction and the conclusion of a text to ensure that the context of the material is not lost. Moreover, when reading a memorandum, you will need to ensure you read the subject line and first lines of the memo to understand the subject. Furthermore, reading the final paragraph of the memo will reiterate the points you skimmed over.

2. Use a pointer

While you may initially feel like you have reverted back to preschool, over time, you will learn to appreciate having a visual aid to help you keep track of your eye placement while reading a text. According to Mindtools.com, the use of a pointer forces your eyes and brain to keep a more focused pace. Try to read this paragraph from the beginning and use your index finger as a pointer, you will notice that your eyes will focus on the last line above your finger and the speed at which you move your finger will set your reading pace.

3. Have a purpose

According to the National Council of Teachers of English, setting authentic purposes for reading will pique curiosity and prepare the mind for the information that it is about to receive. Whether it is for information or simply relaxation, try to have a purpose for reading the material at hand. Whether it is a required report for your next staff meeting or a whole chapter for next week’s history test, subconsciously this process will help to prepare your brain for the activity and thus accelerate comprehension.

4. Read for enjoyment

We are always more motivated to do something that we care about and it is no different with reading. Unlike what most may assume, slow readers do not dread reading, they simply may not have found something that piqued their interest. When reading, try to find topics that are of high interest to you and it will help the process. Your interest in the topic will make it much easier as your brain will quickly register the words. A 2012 study from the United Kingdom’s Department of Education shows that reading for enjoyment not only increased writing ability, text comprehension, and grammar but it also promoted greater self-confidence as a reader. Even with topics that tend to be tedious such as a lease agreements, putting a positive spin on the task will help your brain complete the process effectively. As they say, ‘practice makes perfect'; hence, your reading speed may not be as fast as it would when reading something truly interesting, but having a positive mind will help.

Becoming a speed reader will not occur overnight, however with practice, you can become a quicker reader.

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14 Reasons Why Long-Distance Relationships Can Make Couples Closer

Long-distance relationships are tough. This is not only due to the loneliness, but also because the distance forces you to understand the value and essence of a relationship.

I have come to be stronger emotionally anytime my other half is away. I can tell you this from experience: being in a long-distance relationship can bring out the strength in your relationship. Here are 14 reasons why a long-distance relationship could actually help in securing your relationship.

1. You have a stronger sense of trust

A relationship without trust is not a relationship. There are always voices in your head screaming doubt and insecurities. But if you can survive the torturous moments of not being with your partner physically, and still believe that they are yours, then you have a relationship that is built on something solid.

2. You value communication

You may have looked down on communication previously. But now you know what communication means. It speaks volumes awakens you to the authenticity of the relationship.

3. You appreciate your partner more

Suddenly, the memories you have with your partner, the ones that you can appreciate and hold on to, are even more important. Everything that connects you with your partner becomes something you always want to hold on to.

4. You value their return

Nothing can make you as excited or as expectant as seeing them again. And when you do see them, they are gold. It is like they are the most precious being on earth.

5. You can find freedom in being independent

You learn to do things alone. You can secure your own identity rather than having your happiness dependent on your other half. You also experience the freedom of pursuing the things you always wanted to do alone.

6. You can discover yourself

Now you can experience some “me” time. You can learn to love and discover yourself. Rather than get lost in a relationship, you can get lost in yourself.

7. You can do more talking

Without the physical affection, you can focus on the words you share with your partner. You can be more expressive on the phone and say everything you never thought you would say when you met in person — yes, including the more embarrassing stuff.

8. You can start making plans together

Now the relationship is real and you can figure out where you are going with it. You are either in or out. You have some time to answer all the questions that need to be answered.

9. You can deal with your problems

Rather than hide your problems with sex or expend your energy in other ways, you can deal with them by focusing on them and figuring things out together.

10. You become more creative

You become more imaginative and more conscious of pleasing your partner in other ways, rather than just through physical signs of affection.

11. You have some kind of emotional intimacy

You can feel your partner and emotionally connect with them. It is about the emotions and the sensation that is attached to trying to be with them and please them — it doesn’t have to be all about the physical.

12. You get lost in the days

It is not about the touches but about the hours and the moments of separation. It makes you discover and appreciate time more.

13. You value surprises and gifts

Whatever you can send in terms of objects or affection will be appreciated. You want to give to the other person and show them how much you care. Gifts and surprises are now suddenly worth more than a thousand words.

14. You become more poetic

You may not have understood the significance of words until now. You suddenly become more poetic and understand the true value of words. You can try to penetrate your partner’s heart by using this newfound way with words.

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20 Quotes From Steve Jobs To Help You Get What You Want At Work

It is hard to deny the brilliance of Steve Jobs. Not only did he pioneer Apple to become a revolutionary company, but also to be the most valued brand of its time. Steve Jobs thrived on many different philosophies to make him as successful as he was. If we can tap into his mindset and explore these thoughts, the inspiration may trigger positive action towards becoming the best definition of ourselves in our careers. To help you get inspired, here are some of his quotes.

1. “I’m convinced that about half of what separates successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.”

2. “We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know? And we’ve all chosen to do this with our lives. So it better be damn good. It better be worth it.”

3. “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”

4. “My model for business is The Beatles. They were four guys who kept each other’s kind of negative tendencies in check. They balanced each other and the total was greater than the sum of the parts. That’s how I see business: great things in business are never done by one person, they’re done by a team of people.”

5.“Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”

6. “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

7. “Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.”

8. “Getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”

9. “That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex; you have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple.”

10. “We’re just enthusiastic about what we do.”

11. “The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”

12. “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become.”

13. “My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.”

14. “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”

15. “When you’re doing something for yourself, or your best friend or family, you’re not going to cheese out. If you don’t love something, you’re not going to go the extra mile, work the extra weekend, challenge the status quo as much.”

16. “I was worth about over a million dollars when I was 23 and over ten million dollars when I was 24, and over a hundred million dollars when I was 25 and… it wasn’t that important — because I never did it for the money.”

17. “I think if you do something and it turns out pretty good, then you should go do something else wonderful, not dwell on it for too long. Just figure out what’s next.”

18. “Quality is more important than quantity. One home run is much better than two doubles.”

19. “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me.”

20. “Technology is nothing. What’s important is that you have a faith in people, that they’re basically good and smart, and if you give them tools, they’ll do wonderful things with them.”

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5 Tips to Raising Caring and Moral Children

Any good parent wants their children to grow up to be caring individuals who make the world a better place. As with most accomplishments in life, this is easier said than done. However, raising a morally just child is perhaps the most important and rewarding experience a parent can have, and the effort required in order to do so is absolutely worth it. Parents who want to raise caring, moral children should:

1. Spend time with them

This should be a no-brainer, but today’s busy world makes it incredibly difficult to find the time to just be with our children. Because these moments are so scarce, it’s important to make the most out of every second you have with your child. Learn about their interests, their fears, their hopes and dreams. The Harvard Graduate School of Education suggests parents “plan regular, emotionally intimate time with (their) children.” In other words, don’t just assume that being around your child is the same as spending time with them. Take time to understand what motivates them, and monitor how they treat their friends and peers. Use every second you have to impart the knowledge and wisdom you wish you had growing up. And do this before they’re teenagers and don’t want anything to do with you!

2. Be omnipresent in their lives

I always joke that, at 30 years old, my mother still knows what I’m up to at any given time. But it’s because she was incredibly involved in my life when I was a child. She kept in touch with my friends’ parents and my teachers, and would always volunteer to chaperone at school functions. This isn’t to say she was overbearing, but she definitely always knew what I was up to. Because of this, I grew up being a naturally moral being who has respect for the world around him. As parents, it’s important to make sure your child knows you’re never too far away, and you’re always available when needed.

3. Teach them how to handle emotions

Everyone goes through tough times in their lives. It’s how they handle these situations that determines the kind of person they are. Children experience a variety of emotions that they may or may not understand. Harvard suggests we “pay close attention to whether you are practicing honesty, fairness, and caring yourself and modeling skills like solving conflicts peacefully and managing anger and other difficult emotions effectively.” Instead of just letting your kids “deal with” whatever situation they find themselves in, help them identify their negative emotions, reach the foundation of their problems, and work through them in a productive way. Once they recognize their ability to cope with negative situations, they’ll be more likely to face them head on in the future.

4. Make gratitude routine

Being grateful goes beyond saying “please” and “thank you,” and shouldn’t be done superficially. It’s customary to leave a tip at a restaurant, but it’s possible to show true gratitude by seeking out the manager and pointing out just how great a job your server did throughout your meal (in addition to a tip, of course!). Those at Harvard believe we should “encourage children to express appreciation for family members, teachers, or others who contribute to their lives.” Parents should model gratitude and helpfulness every chance they get, whether it’s by donating to a shelter, or buying a coffee for a homeless man outside a convenience store. Your children will live by the example you lead, so it’s important to set a good one for them.

5. Practice and reinforce empathy

Along with gratitude, it’s also important to teach your children to be empathetic. This goes beyond simply “feeling bad” for someone, but actually putting yourself in their shoes. Everyone knows the Golden Rule, but the Platinum Rule is much more important: Treat others as they want to be treated. Teach your children not to just assume how someone wants to be treated, but show them how to actually see from various perspectives. Teach them not to judge others as if they know where they’ve come from, but rather help them understand that not everyone comes from the same walk of life, and everyone has had their own unique experiences in this world. By doing this, your children will grow up treating every person they meet as they should be treated: a unique individual.

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Only Sensitive People Can Understand These 10 Things

In a world in which “nice guys finish last,” being a sensitive person has its ups and downs. Sensitive people live by their emotions, as well as the connections they make with others throughout their lives. While this can be a good thing during times of extreme happiness, it can also be incredibly detrimental during a sensitive person’s inevitable low periods in life. Those of us who are overly sensitive know are familiar with the following things.

1. You get offended easily.

The most innocuous statements can send a sensitive person into a downward spiral of self-doubt and worry. Because of this, people often feel as if they have to walk on eggshells when around you. However, this only exacerbates the problem, as you sometimes feel as if you’re being treated differently by friends and colleagues because you’re known to be overly sensitive. Even still, it’s hard to not be offended when a friend pokes fun at something you said or did, even if you know it was all in jest.

2. You’ve been told to lighten up.

On the same token, many of your friends and colleagues refuse to treat you any differently, instead telling you to not take everything so seriously. Of course, you know this is easier said than done, and if you could, you would. While someone might try to make you feel better by saying “Lighten up, I was only joking,” what they fail to realize is you now feel as if everyone in the room is having fun at your expense; especially once they realize you actually did get offended by a seemingly benign statement.

3. You’re in tune with others’ emotions.

Sensitive people are not just emotional beings themselves, but they also pick up on others’ changes in mood easily as well. When you meet up with a friend, you can immediately tell how their day was, how they’re feeling, and how the rest of the day will go with just a quick glance at their facial expression and body language. Being able to detect these mood changes in others is partly the reason you get so offended when others don’t understand they offended you, because you’d be able to tell immediately if the situation were reversed.

4. You’re empathetic.

Not only are you quick to pick up others’ emotional cues, but you often let their emotions dictate your own. It’s hard not to feel down when others are, so when a friend comes to you with a problem, you take their mood on yourself. Of course, this is because you want to put yourself in their shoes in order to better assist them with their issue, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’ve allowed external stimuli to change your own disposition.

5. You’re too polite.

Because you know how awful it feels to be shut down or otherwise offended, you’re usually polite to everyone. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can also lead to others walking all over you. Even if someone offends you, you’d rather ignore it and move on than stand up for yourself. This isn’t to say that being confrontational is a healthy alternative, but you also shouldn’t allow others to disrespect you whenever they feel like it. Doing so will only exacerbate your sensitivity, as you’ll constantly feel inadequate around those who use you as their own personal emotional punching bag.

6. You’re eager to please.

Along with being too polite, sensitive people are often too eager to please. Being reliable is fine, but people will start to use you once they realize how eager you are to drop what you’re doing to help them out. By putting your own life on the back-burner in favor of helping others, you ultimately help them get ahead while you end up getting stuck behind them. This is especially true at work; don’t make it your obligation to help others before you’ve finished your own tasks, otherwise you’re doing a disservice to your career.

7. You have trouble communicating your feelings.

Ironically, although sensitive people are very emotional people, they often have a tough time expressing their feelings to others. This may be due in part to the fact that they have a heightened ability to detect emotions in others, and they simply expect others to be able to do the same. This is most often noticeable in relationships, in which one person asks “What’s wrong?” and the other answers “Nothing, I’m fine.” Everyone knows “I’m fine” translates to “I shouldn’t have to explain to you what’s wrong.” As a sensitive person, you have to remember that not everyone is as in tune with others’ feelings as you are, and you’ll need to explain yourself at times.

8. You react emotionally.

Sensitive people think with their hearts first, then their heads. While this can be a good thing when dealing with interpersonal relationships, it can lead to disaster when logic is needed rather than emotion. A manager of a business might have a tough time reprimanding an employee because he is afraid of hurting their feelings, but letting the employee off the hook for a mistake made on company time will lead to bigger problems down the road. Emotional responses have their place when dealing with friendships and significant others, but there are times in life when emotions have to be kept in check.

9. You’re indecisive.

Since sensitive people are constantly being told to “lighten up” or not to take things so seriously, they’re often incredibly indecisive. This is because they don’t trust their own intuition, as they’ve constantly been told their own feelings and perceptions were incorrect. When faced with a tough decision, sensitive people often look at the negative consequences of both actions, and let this laundry list of possible negative outcomes hinder them from ever making a decision at all.

10. You take criticism personally.

Just like everything else, sensitive people take criticism as a personal attack on their worth as a human being. Unfortunately, doing so only serves to block them from improving their skills and abilities. It’s important to use constructive criticism as it’s meant to be taken, rather than a personal affront to your abilities. Take the criticism as advice rather than an insult, and you’ll be able to focus on improving that aspect of your performance in the future.

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8 Reasons Millennials Have The Potential To Be Highly Successful

Some have said millennials are lazy and they are not ready to become responsible. People have said generation Y is so different from previous generations. Yet it is important to understand the valuable assets this generation has and rather than underestimating them only to see that they have redefined the meaning of success and self-worth. Here are reasons why millennials have the potential to be highly successful.

It is never about face time

Millennials are so consumed with the benefits of technology they do not see why a person has to meet face-to-face with an employer or a client. It is not about being social or not, they just believe face time or physical presence is more impactful when it does not have to be a major part of the day. The benefit of this to the millennial is that instead of having regular meetings and engaging in face time discussion they can sell results, not hours on the meter or time in the building.

They are not ruled by the conventional

Millennials are not prisoners of tradition; rather they want to define a new channel and path. While in the past, farmers were prisoners to their jobs on the fields and industrialists were prisoners to their factories, the millennials understand that there are limitless possibilities in today’s world. They know that more can be done with their devices and gadgets than fists and muscles. The millennials were born into a digital world where a playroom, a research library, a movie theater, and the yellow pages for the entire world could fit into their pockets. This taught them that sometimes the unconventional is possible.

They believe in values than wealth

According to a Pew Research Center study, millennials want to be an ideal model for their kids. For them it is not about achieving fame and a high-paying career but rather in making a difference and contributing to their world. Although they may not be as religious as people of previous generations, in a sense they are very spiritual and are concerned about developing good values. They see value in changing the world not increasing their bank balance.

They are focused on learning from the experience of others

Millennials tend to look up to people who have trudged the same path they want to take. They see such people as role models whether they be formal advisers, role models or industry icons. This is why they can read through articles and stories of people who are more experienced in the industry they are interested in.

They believe in living the moment

Millennials are not concerned about “what the world is turning into,” rather they are prepared to build their ideal world. They are willing to take risks and chase after their passions no matter the odds against them. They are enthusiastic and energetic about almost everything they try to accomplish, from building a career to starting family or becoming business leaders.

They believe in continuous learning

Unlike previous generations who want to show you certificates and physical proof of accomplishments, millennials are focused on learning and committing themselves to the process of personal development. Millenials believe that learning is a continual process and much can be gotten from surfing through the internet, whether it is You Tube or Wikipedia.

They don’t see borders or boundaries

Millennials are getting more connected than ever. They are having friends across international borders and destroying boundaries to build kingdoms. They are willing to hop on a plane or get engaged through Skype so they see the potential in using this technology to find the answers they need.

They are focused on happiness

At the end of the day millennials want to be happy, whether they are taking the traditional route or not. They simply want to answer the questions rather than wait for those questions to be answered by another generation. That is why they can chase their dreams rather than deadlines, they can travel the world rather being caught up in an office, and break hearts rather than fulfill vows.

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Think You’re Unqualified For Your Dream Job? 6 Reasons Why You’re Wrong

It is so easy to condemn ourselves.

We have gone through a period of searching and filtering through employment options, then when we get that job we so desire we start becoming apprehensive that we are not good enough to perform successfully in the role. We may feel our experiences and academic qualification don’t line up with  the requirements of the job. But this should not deter you.

Rather than feeling guilty for being the one picked for the job, look inwards and realize that you really do have powerful things to offer your new workplace:

1. You are passionate

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs

If you are someone who is excited about every new project- even when you are not the perfect fit to execute it- you still bring a lot of energy to seeing that the job is completed successfully. What fuels you is not simply the nature of your job, but you are passionate about being challenged in a new work environment. Your passion and work ethic will become characteristic and could energize your workplace. Never underestimate your passion as it is something every employer likes to see.

2. You have integrity

“You are not your resume, you are your work.”- Seth Godin

Employers love credibility. Your reputation, if solid, can help you soar above controversies and earn excellent recognition. You may not be the most talented person in the workplace but when what you do is consistent with the highest ethical standards you are sure to make an impression on your employer and on fellow employees.

3. You are bold

“All happiness depends on courage and work.” ― Honoré de Balzac

You are willing to try new things. Your boldness means you are willing to accept new challenges and to take risks even when there is a high degree of uncertainty and a strong possibility of failure. You can speak up and say what you think and feel will work- even in a difficult situation. Employers tend to admire men and women who can speak their minds.

4. You are competent

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose.”- Dr. Seuss

You can be entrusted with work and you are determined not to disappoint your boss. You are dependable and can prioritize tasks. You are able to separate the relevant from the irrelevant and then focus on what needs to be done. Such reliability makes you attract responsibility, and is something you should be proud of.

5. You are likable

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.”- Jim Rohn

People with warm personalities are always more popular and effective in the workplace. They can collaborate and connect with others, making team projects a success. Employers love it when an employee can be easygoing, cooperative, and friendly. Such an attitude shows that they are willing to be part of a team and part of the work family. Being likable creates a positive atmosphere and a sense of ease in the workplace, breeding joy and work satisfaction.

6. You have the willpower to make things work

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”– Denis Waitley

Definitely there will be challenges in the workplace and things could get bumpy. However, you have the inner strength and willpower to continue in the face of hardship and persevere against the odds that you are up against. Your willpower will help you maintain your cool when there is an inevitable crisis during the day-day-day operations of the company.

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24 Signs You’re An Introvert- Not Shy

Many people believe introversion and shyness are one and the same, but this is not true. All my life I was told that I was shy. I believed it too… until I learned that shyness is the fear of people due to insecurity or social anxiety.

When I learned this, I thought: wait a second- I’m not afraid of people, but being around too many people for too long always leaves me feeling drained. I also know that I always require alone time to recharge my energy. Moreover, I’m not a fan of interacting for the sake of interacting. I usually have a reason behind every interaction. It was then I thought to myself: nope, I’m not shy at all… what I am is an INTROVERT.

If you’ve always thought that you were shy, but you’re not afraid of being around people, check out this list of 24 signs that you are actually an introvert:

1. You Don’t Enjoy Small Talk

Introverts prefer conversations with substance over small talk. We’re thinkers, and thrive on heavier conversations about life, ideas, theories and big goals. But when small talk is inevitable, we can’t help but try to make the other person feel comfortable. We’re good listeners and are naturally in tune with how the people we interact with are feeling. More often than not, you find these casual chit-chats morph into deeper, more meaningful conversation.

2. You Have a Love-Hate Relationship With Your Phone

Introverts are not the best at talking on the phone. It’s not personal, honest; we screen calls from even our family and closest friends. At times we really hate the phone because it’s intrusive and tears our minds away from whatever we’re deeply focused on. However, those we choose to speak with can be sure that our monthly (or annual) phone conversations will be spilling over with plenty of heartfelt talk- and these calls will more than likely last for hours!

3. You Wait to Text Back

When you’re notified that you have a text from a family member or friend, you wait until you’re ready to give it your undivided attention, to read it, and send a thoughtful response.

4. You Find Crowds Stressful

You prefer one-on-one time, where it’s more intimate. If spending time around a lot of people is inevitable, you can’t wait to go home and recharge your batteries.

5. You’re Not Anti-Social… You’re Selectively Social

As an introvert, you find it difficult to meet people you like and feel comfortable with. You don’t get energized by the people around you, and most of the time, it takes you a little while to warm up to someone. We don’t invest our energy on people we’re not completely crazy about, so we choose to get to know them better before we get too close. That said, when we do find someone we enjoy being around or have an interest in getting to know better, it’s kind of special!

6. You Enjoy Being Out With a Group of People… in Small Doses

Every once in awhile you like to go out with a group of people and have a great time. It could be a party, networking event, or a huge concert. But once that’s done and over, it may take days, weeks, or even months, to completely recharge your batteries and feel ready to do it again.

7. You Are Extremely Observant and Mindful of Your Surroundings

You enjoy getting to really know what the people around you are really about. Introverts are also very mindful of their surroundings and small details, so people enjoy having you around and quickly grow comfortable opening up to you.

8. You Unlock Your Heart for Only the Most Special of Souls

Introverts are extremely careful in choosing who we allow to see our inner self. Sure, being left open and vulnerable is incredibly frightening for us, but it means we’ve determined the recipient of our affection and attention is worth the risk. That being said, we’re pretty quick in shutting people out when we feel threatened or hurt. We just don’t have the energy for that.

9. You are Creative

Studies show that introverts are a creative bunch! We are able to take in a lot of information and use it to create wonderful new ideas!

10. You Value Listening… Deeply

Introverts are great listeners. You listen to understand, not simply to respond. And if you’re asked for advice, the help you share has been thought out fully for that specific individual. The act of listening is our way of showing love and respect, and as such, we deeply appreciate when those we communicate with recognize that we carefully think through the messages we share… and that we love it when the same is done for us.

11. You are Highly Introspective

You tend to over analyze situations that don’t even need to be analyzed at all. It may take you a little longer to understand what’s going on, not because you don’t get it, but because you always seek to understand the deeper meanings.

12. You Think Before You Argue

Introverts need to take time to work things out in our heads first, and we choose our words with care. Once we’ve been given the chance to carefully process the issue, we’ll be able to clearly communicate exactly where we stand with those involved.

13. You are Accused of Flirting with Everybody

Which is pretty funny, considering that it takes time for most introverts to actually warm up to anyone. This misconception is usually due to your great listening skills and your mindfulness towards those around you.

14. You Enjoy Your Time Alone

This may not sound like fun to everyone, but introverts not only like our alone time- we need it. Just doing nothing and having some ‘me-time’ is a way for us to unwind and re-energize.

15. You are Rarely Bored

While our extroverted counterparts turn to others for stimulation, we are constantly working out our lives and dreams in our heads. Introverts are deep thinkers and almost always have an inner monologue running through our minds- it keeps us highly entertained!

16. You Don’t Trust Easily

You take your time to observe and really get to know someone before inviting them into your inner circle; but once you have the right people in your life, you don’t hold back and strive to always give the best of yourself.

17. You Have a Very Small Group of Very Close Friends

While introverts usually don’t enjoy much socializing, we adore our small group of close, trusted friends. We prefer to create and maintain fewer friendships at a much deeper level, over a large group of casual connections.

18. You Fiercely Guard Your Personal Space

You value your space and are extremely picky about what you give your attention to and who you let in because the wrong thoughts and people will leave you feeling burned-out.

19. You are More Comfortable Expressing Yourself in Writing

You prefer communicating through text and email because it gives you more time and space to clarify your thoughts before putting them into words.

20. You are Great at Getting Stuff Done

Your alone time is packed with brainstorming, outlining, creating blueprints and putting them all into action!

21. You are a Good Judge of Character

Because you keep to yourself, you are able to take time and observe the people around you and truly get to know who they are. Introverts pay close attention to nonverbal cues because we know words can only tell us so much. So, we’re usually able to see everyone for who they really are and not just what they appear to be.

22. You are Great at Making Decisions

Introverts are masters of thinking things through, allowing us to thoroughly gather all necessary data and weigh the pros and cons before making important choices.

23. You Retain an Air of Mystery

We know there really is nothing mysterious about us, but our tendency to stay just outside the crowd, simply watching and observing, while keeping our emotions and body language in check, makes us seem like we are mysterious.

24. You are A Loyal Friend

Introverts highly value the few close friends they have. If you’ve been welcomed into an introvert’s inner circle, you can almost be certain you have a loyal ally for life.

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